sudo life

For part of my vacation this year, I visited my friend Tara, who lives in San Antonio.  It was a beautiful trip, and San Antonio was very nice.  Maybe I will write more about that later.  There was one quick thing I wanted to post about, however.  When I visited the Alamo, there was a short sentence that really jumped out at me.  There is a picture on the right.

The first sentence reads: “Republicanism, a new idea about government, became popular in the late 1700s.”

I realize this may be over pedantic, but I just couldn’t let this drop.  Republicanism was a new idea about government?  Perhaps the author of this short blurb should have read Plato.

That’s all for now.  I need to get back to catching up on email.

Philosophy, education government, Philosophy, politics

As I work through my Educational Technology Masters Degree, one of the things I’m very interested in is the use of video games for educational purposes.  So when I saw this article (pdf) entitled “Scientific Habits of Mind in Virtual Worlds” a few months ago, I couldn’t wait to read it.

This particular study focused on the users of the popular massive multiplayer online role playing game (mmorpg) World of Warcraft, and specifically an online discussion forum used by players to communicate.  The abstract sums up their findings:

Eighty-six percent of the forum discussions were posts engaged in “social knowledge construction” rather than social banter. Over half of the posts evidenced systems based reasoning, one in ten evidenced model-based reasoning, and 65% displayed an evaluative epistemology in which knowledge is treated as an open-ended process of evaluation and argument.

The paper itself it very accessible, and doesn’t take long to read.  The findings are surprising, and I think important for educators to be aware of.  Since I’m not much of a gamer, I was unaware of the level of detail and care gamers put into playing this game, although after reading “Everything Bad is Good For You” last fall, this really shouldn’t have been much of a surprise.  From the paper, here is an example of what I’m talking about:

The calculations correctly show that mind flay [spell]
receives just as much +damage percentage as mind
blast. However mind blast has a 1.5 second cast time,
and mind flay has a 3 second cast time. And therefore
mind flay receives half the dps [damage per second]
boost it should. (post #2609.43)

There are two things about this kind of thinking that really demonstrates something I hope I can foster in my own classroom: the depth of analysis, and social knowledge construction.  The user in this case, wasn’t satisfied by the damages given by a particular attack; they took it a step further and came up with their own method of identifying what kind attack is better (damage per second).  While this particular example seems simple, since it only involves one issue (a single tactical decision), it’s important to realize that this is just a piece of a much larger discussion that involved many more variables. From later in the paper, here is an example of a more complicated, user generated equation:

For Mindflay, SW:P, and presumpably VT [3 priest spells]:

Damage = (base_spell_damage + modifier * damage_gear) *darkness * weaving * shadowform *misery

The second thing they did was post their analysis in a forum, generating discussion and debate.

It was this paper that inspired me last semester, when I was assigned to create a lesson plan that integrated some form of technology, to use Schorched3D as a way for students to create models for learning about trajectory and range.  While I wasn’t able to give this lesson to actual students, and it’s outside the field I actually teach, I think this kind of integration will be necessary in the classrooms of today and tomorrow.

For further reading, there is a wealth of information to be found in the citations of this article.  I also recommend the book “Everything Bad is Good for You.”  Finally, I check out Constance Steinkuehler’s website.  She’s done a lot of great work in this area.

References

1. Steinkeuhler, Constance & Duncan, Sean (2008). Scientific Habits of Mind in Virtual Worlds Journal of Science Education and Technology, 17 (6), 530-543

Uncategorized education, Philosophy, Science, teaching, thinking

Hulu recently made Carl Sagan‘s famous PBS documentary series Cosmos available for free viewing online.  If you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend watching it.  It is the best documentary series I’ve ever seen, and for me, it was a complete life changer.  There is a moment in the last episode of the series that completely shattered some cognitive dissonance that had been building up for months: the amount of evidence for evolution, versus my dogmatic rejection of it.  The moment is just a simple statement:  “[we] accepted the products of science, but not it’s methods.”  The intensity I felt in that moment has been rarely replicated.  It perfectly described my actions in a way that was undeniable, but also provided the solution: drop my dogmatic beliefs in favor of evidence based knowledge.

Since that time, I sometimes forget what it’s like for people who reject evolution.  Sometimes, as hard as it is to believe, I forget that anyone actually rejects evolution.  It’s so obvious to me now, that I forge that there are other perspectives out there.  There are probably many causes for this, but there is one that I want to focus on for this post:  Nearly everyone benefitting from modern technology has implicitly accepted evolution.

The theory of evolution was a breakthrough of truly monumental proportions, and today, it’s applications have extended well beyond just academic biology.  For example, it’s used in forensic science to help solve crimes.  How many people accept DNA evidence, but don’t realize that without the theory of evolution, we wouldn’t be able to analyze DNA?  How many people use materials everyday that were designed using principals derived from the theory of evolution?

How many people wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for the theory of evolution?  Modern medicine depends on an understanding of evolution.  If the theory of evolution didn’t accurately reflect reality, modern medicine would not be successful at all.  Instead, we see life expectancy growing at an exponential rate.

Shouldn’t someone who truly believes evolution wrong and even evil, reject all these things? If they’re truly dedicated to their beliefs, they should.  Instead, we see their rational side appear when they need it.  If they’re sick, they ignore the man behind the curtain, and implicitly accept the benefits of evidence-based knowledge.  Next time I’m pulled back down to earth by someone who doesn’t believe in evolution, I just want to ask them this:  then why do you accept it’s products?

Science biology, christianity, evolution, medicine, Philosophy

It was once nearly universal that people believed that god existed, and that without god, life would be chaos.  That time is in the past.  Recent data has shown that somewhere between fifteen and twenty percent of americans are non-religious, placing this group in second place in terms of population.  Only Christianity as a group can claim higher numbers.  But that’s tricky, because Christians are great at fighting between themselves.  Are the Catholics really Christians?  How about Calvinists?  Or Mormons?  Or Fundamentalist? Or evangelicals?  When you break down Christianity into incompatible subgroups that love to hate each other, the non-religious numbers more than many of them.  There’s all sorts of interesting things to consider about these statistics, but I’ll have to take those up in another post.  This post it aimed at posing a simple question:

In a nation where around one out of every six people are non-religious, why are things as ordered as they are?

While you’re thinking about that, consider these numbers as well.  If you don’t want to take the time to read it, it talks about the disparity between the religious percentages in society and in prison.  Outside of prison, the non-religious number one out of six.  Inside prison, the non-religious number around one in 500.  If it’s true that non-belief leads to chaos and anarchy, why aren’t the prisons overflowing with the non-religious?  Why are our prisons instead overflowing with people who claim belief in god?

Another example is Norway.  Norway is over 70% atheist.  According to the theory that god is necessary for morality and meaning, we would expect Norway to be anarchy and a hell hole.  But that is not the case.  Norway is one of the most responsible and peaceful nations in the world.   The hypothesis that god is necessary for morality and meaning is falsified by this evidence.

The fact of the matter is that god is not necessary for living a moral and meaningful life.

Is god necessary for you to love your family?  If you discovered that god did not exist, would you suddenly hate your wife, your husband, your sister, or your brother?  How about your children?  Would you kick them to the curb if you discovered Richard Dawkins is correct, and god was only a delusion?

Would you find your hobbies suddenly unfulfilling?  Would fishing become a chore?  Or hiking?  Or watching your favorite sports team?

Would you no longer donate to charity?  Would you ignore someone broken down on the side of the road?  Would you decide not to help your neighbor change their tire?

Would you decide that it’s now okay to steal whatever you want, to rape and murder whoever you want?

If you’re anything like everyone I know, your answer to every one of those questions is ‘no.’  And that’s my point.  God isn’t necessary for any of those things.  So let’s stop pretending that it is.  I know how the religious are stuck to their beliefs, but please, why don’t you reconsider this particular belief.

Atheism christianity, morality, Philosophy

This story gets under my nerves.  A professor asked his students to write an essay critical of U.S. VP Candidate Sarah Palin.  The article doesn’t provide any details of the assignment directly, but off the top of my head, I can’t think of any reason why such an assignment would be wrong, especially at the college level.

This isn’t about your views.  This isn’t about whether you like or dislike Sarah Palin.  Reading the sentence on it’s own merits, it doesn’t even necessarily mean finding flaws in Ms. Palin:

criticize
1. To find fault with: criticized the decision as unrealistic.
2. To judge the merits and faults of; analyze and evaluate.

I would like to draw your attention to the second definition, as it is the one most commonly used in higher education.

But let us suppose that this wasn’t the case.  The assignment really was to write an essay that found fault with Sarah Palin.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that either.  One thing any well balanced should be able to do is formulate an argument whether they agree with it or not.  It is a necessary part of being able to understand anything.

Where is the problem?

It drives me batty that anyone attending an institute of higher education would not recognize this.  It drives me batty that the press are even paying attention to this.  Isn’t the skill this lesson is aimed towards a fundamental part of being a journalist?

I’m planning on voting for Barack Obama this fall.  Here are a few faults he has:

• His recent FISA vote was so wrong, that to completely explain why would not be appropriate for this blog post.
• He appears to think it’s wrong to criticize other people’s religion.
• A few of his commercials have not been completely honest in their criticisms of his opponent.

Those are three things right off the top of my head.  If I sat down to think about it more, I’m sure I could come up with several more.

I fear the real issue here is avoidance of being self-critical.  If you agree with Sarah Palin, criticism of her is criticism of you.  We can’t have that in the classroom, obviously.

Dammit, grow some courage, people.

“We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers. -Carl Sagan”

Philosophy critical thinking, education, Philosophy

After the events of last night, I am sorry to inform everyone that the world did in fact end, and what we are currently experiencing is merely a figment of my massive imagination.

You read that correctly.  Every thought, every sensation, everything that exists is now just the rapid firing of the nuerons and synapses in my brain during the last few nanoseconds before it completely disintegrates.

Considering this possibility as fact is known to lead to madness unless you hit upon the phrase, “I think, therefore I am.”  Although, when you think about it, even your brains are a figment of my imagination, so while it might be a comforting thought to you, it doesn’t change reality…

Enjoy your existence!

Note:  If you start seeing an abnormally high number of references to the following things, have no worries, as this is just part of the normal functioning of my brain:

• Pickles
• Onomatopoeia
• An increased density of truly stupid puns.

Philosophy funny, Philosophy, physics

If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance. – Bern Williams

It’s that time of the year where love seems to be on everyone’s mind. Summer is starting, and we hear the ancient call to find someone special. There have been seemingly endless songs and poems written about this phenomena. But really, who wants to study this academically? It’s so much more interesting to talk about that special someone.

We can loose our more poetic side, discussing at length how that person can make you smile just be being present. How you can see her at the distance and fight with yourself against the urge to run to them. How her hair flows freely, and every minute detail of her figure is considered a thing of exquisite beauty. She may be the homeliest person in the world, but to you, she’s an angel.

You go out of your way just to be near her, to catch a glimpse, to say hello. When you talk to her, no matter the subject, you mouth runs dry, and the eloquent things you try to say inexplicably comes out with a stutter. The heart races, your palms feel clammy. It can feel like you’re on a roller-coaster when your stomach seems to drop to the floor, but you’re not moving at all.

You wish you could just put your arm around her, or hold her hand, but any physical contact at all can seem to be nearly overwhelming. When your lips meet that first time, it’s like a bolt of electricity shooting through your body. It’s not painful, but staggering. The softness of her lips is delectable, and the moment stretches as time slows. Your brain struggles to keep up with all the sensory information it’s receiving. How long has the moment lasted? But eventually, the kiss ends, and your arms snake around her, pulling her close. You never want to let go, but you do, eventually. The night ends, and you can’t help but smile. Part of you wonders if it was all a dream.

Sometimes, it is.

Personal love, Philosophy

It’s easy to get bogged down in the drudgery of day-to-day life. When you do the same thing day in and day out, it’s hard to stay focused on where you want to be, and how you’re going to get there. I’ve been feeling some of that lately, as my regret for my first degree sets in and anxiety for my new direction begins to emerge. The semester is really starting to roll along, and we’re so busy where I work, that I have little time to think about going back to school, and no time to study.

So the video from Randy Pausch that has been circulating has hit at just about the perfect time. I haven’t had time to finish watching it yet, but this has been great. I had held off watching, believing that I wouldn’t really like it, but I couldn’t have been wronger. This is without a doubt, one of the most inspirational things I have ever seen. The trick now is to translate that inspiration until real work.

The problem that most of us find ourselves in is that we get inspired about something, but then do nothing about it. Perhaps ‘inspiration’ doesn’t really describe it well enough; we need to add the modifier ‘feel-good.’ We feel good about someone else accomplishments and wish we could do the same, but then we keep drudging along, doing the same stuff until the next ‘inspirational’ thing comes along. I know I’ve fallen into this trap many times, and have seen others fall into it as well. I don’t know the cure, other than ‘get off your butt and do it.’ You have to make sacrifices to get what you want, and it’s not going to be easy. As Pausch puts it:

“Brick walls are there for a reason. They let us prove how badly we want things.”

I like that. I’ve been hitting several brick wall as I start pursuing Neuroscience studies with nothing more than a B.A. in Music. But Progress is being made, and I can show that if this is really what I want, then it will happen.

In other news, I received my Chemistry Set from the H.M.S. Beagle on Saturday, and have had lots of fun with that so far. Especially the Alkali metals (sodium and potassium), as twice the amount was in the kit than was advertised. I’m also on the lookout for other experiments to tackle, though I need to work on some of my lab skills first. I’ve never tried bending glass before, and it’s probably time to learn. I think I’ll try distilling water before synthesizing different gases, just so I can get used to how everything works together.

It’ll be interesting tomorrow, as people from the apartment complex will be entering my apartment to change out the furnace filters. Will anything get said? Will I have a notice waiting for me that I should get rid of the equipment? I hope not…

Personal inspiration, Philosophy

One year ago today was a Sunday.

I woke up, and packed my bags. I was going to go to Portland Oregan early the next morning to attend OSCON. I was somewhat excited, but worried about how I was going to pay for it. I was also lonely, oh so very lonely. It’s easy to admit now. I refused to admit it even to myself until last week. I would tell myself that all sorts of different things, rationalize it every which way. Somehow admitting to myself that I was lonely wasn’t something I wanted to do.

After packing my clothes, I sat down on my couch. Just sat, not sure what I was going to do, wanting to do something, but not having the energy for anything. There was a website I could have been working on, but I couldn’t find the energy to get up and walk over to my computer to test it out. I pulled out a cigarette and smoked it, a temporary feeling of satisfaction rushing through my head. When that was gone, I smoked another. A headache creeped into my head. I hated smoking, but what else could I do? I couldn’t do anything else.

Eventually, I opened the lid to my laptop and started watching some of Carl Sagan’s Cosmos series. I had recently located them on Google Video and was slowly making my way through all 13 episodes. Press play, and click the lighter. The nicotine calmed my mind; Sagan’s words smoothed my spirit.

A few episodes later, it was time for lunch. I wasn’t hungry, but I found something to eat anyway. Skipping meals is always a bad idea. Eat some food, lay back down on my couch. Press play. Mind won’t concentrate. Press stop. I need something… what? Pick up my cell phone. Look up the number I want to call. Put the cell phone back on the table. Press play. Mind wanders. Press stop. Pick up cell phone, press call. Press hang up before the call is answered.

Get up, take a walk outside to clear my head. It doesn’t work. Get back, take a shower, because I don’t like being sweaty. Sit back down on couch. Pick up the phone, call. I let it get answered this time.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Josh. Are you going to that church service you were talking about?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Ok. If you decide to go, I would like to tag along.”

“Ok.”

That conversation isn’t exact, but close enough. Soon it’s decided that we’ll go. I hang up the phone and check myself. Still feel like shit. I put the phone down and walk over to the kitchen, then take an asprin. Headache doesn’t leave. Pull out another cigarette. Light it up. Looks like I’m getting low, better stock up before I leave. Hmm, can I take a lighter inside of security? Doubtful, better pack one. What am I going to do during my 5 hour flight? Try to sleep. Maybe I’ll quit. Decide I should. Thow out the rest of the pack.

I go to the store to buy several packs anyway.

I get back to the apartment, and break out a light right away. Dammit, I told myself I was quiting. Why did I go to the store? I feel lonelier than ever.

I pickup the phone again. Can’t bother the same person, need to find someone else. 10 minutes later, I realize no one else is around. Take another asprin. Can’t have too many, or I’ll get sick. Take another anyway.

I look at the clock. The time is growing near. Need to take a shower, wash the smell of smoke off myself. My friend hates the smell, but I’m more ashamed of myself. Don’t want her to know. She does anyway. Get new clothes out of the dryer. No way they smell like smoke. If I lose a friend, at least it won’t be because of that. Brush my teeth for ten minutes. Have to make sure it’s clean. Still not sure. Brush some more.

I go out to my car, drive slowly to her house. Knock on the door. She’s talking on the phone, and I’m relieved that all I have to do is smile. She drives us to church. We arrive. She’s looking for her friend. I realize she likes him. I think it’s great, I’m happy for her, and I hate myself for feeling a little more lonely and jealous.  Jealous because someone can feel that way, and someone can recieve those sorts of feelings.

Don’t think about it Josh. Think of something clever to say. Look around. See what’s there. Time to take a seat. Oh no, where do I sit? Take the seat right next to her, possibly make her uncomfortable, or sit one seat over, and make it seem like I”m trying to push her away.

I hate sitting in public rows of chairs. I never know what to do, no matter who it’s with.

Decide on one seat away. Being too far from someone is better than being too close.

Read the slide on the wall. Look around as people come in. Do you know anyone? What will you say if you see someone you know? Tell the truth? Smile and give general answers? Pretend to need to go to the bathroom? Or perhaps it wouldn’t be pretending. Now I need to go. Is it alright to smoke outside a church? Doesn’t matter, didn’t bring my cigarettes, and I don’t want my friend to know anyway. Read the next slide on the wall.

It’s time to sing. Stand up. I feel numb. Try to open my mouth. Nothing comes out. Then a sound. I look around. I feel like everyone is staring. No one is. For some reason, that doesn’t make me feel any better.

People are raising their hands. They’re so sincere. I used to be them. I remember raising my hands. I remember singing. I wrote worship songs. We sung them in church. I used to cry when I sang. I used to feel god’s presence.

I don’t raise my hands. I don’t cry. I don’t feel anything.

It’s time to set down. Someone stands up, some announcements. They talk about a camping trip. I went on one of those before. I always felt so lonely every time. I made a huge mistake at the first one. I never forgave myself. I deserve to feel lonely. They thought I was mean. I was only defending myself. No one believed me. I don’t deserve to defend myself. Good thing I sat one seat over.

The speaker starts talking. We should keep the sabbath holy. The jews had a hard time remembering. They stoned to death those who didn’t (did they do it the same day?). Today, we need to do the same. Not stone people to death. Set apart some time each week for us to be with god. He wants us to do that.

I want to scream. I swallow instead. Don’t they get it? My frustration grows. I want to get up and leave, but stay seated. I listen. The speaker had a problem with his bike (or was it car) breaking. It was because he hadn’t kept his time with the lord. The lord was trying to tell him to spend more time.

I shake my head. This is gibberish. Don’t they understand? Pull out a scripture. Interpret it anyway you like. It’s meaningless.

The pastor is actually telling us first that:

A) God tells us what he wants us to do.

and

B) When god tells us, he doesn’t tell us exactly what to do, we need to interpret it, make it fit our time period and culture.

The hypocrisy is getting a number of amen’s. I feel the world rushing in around my. My head feels like it’s about to explode. The numbness is gone, only to be filled with pain. God, why do you let us do this? Why are you so confusing? Why won’t you answer my prayers? Why won’t you heal me? Why did you make me such a shitty person? Or if I did that to myself somehow, why won’t you help me change? I need you. I’m shit, yet you still love me. I’m so grateful for your love, but why can’t I feel it? Why can’t you show it to me? I know I can’t show others that I love them, does that mean you must ignore me to? Isn’t that part of the problem?

As the questions flow, I start going around in circles, always rationalizing away the obvious answer that will make it all stop. It’s not true. There is a god who loves me. If only I will try a little harder.

The service is over. We leave. She asks me what I thought. I’m not sure how to answer. I reply that I don’t understand. I try to explain, but I don’t think I make any sense.

I stay silent the rest of the time.

Thank her for going, it’s time to get back to my apartment.

I get in, change into my shorts. More comfortable. Sit down, light up a cigarette. Mind slows down.

Press play.

Trying to focus. It actually works a bit.

Time passes as I watch.

Press pause. What did Sagan just say? Rewind. Press Play.

Yes, that is what Sagan said. I can’t breath all of the sudden. Tears rush from my eyes. Is it really that simple? I want to scream. I want to break something, throw something. But I sit. My hands are shaking. And then my arms. What am I going to do?

I lean forward, and put my head in my hands. Dry my eyes. My head feels like it’s about to explode.

Breath. In. Out. In. Out. Breath through your nose, dammit! It’ll calm you faster. How do you know that? There are nerve endings in your nose that will get soothed.

Everything stops.

I have my answer.

I don’t believe in god.

One year ago today.

Personal Atheism, change, christianity, Philosophy, Science

Someone once argued with me, concerning evolution, “science has been wrong before.”

True enough. I didn’t reply at the time, for a variety of reasons. Today, I would challenge them to name something that science has been wrong about. There are several possible choices. One common answer is thinking the earth was flat (most people don’t know about Eratosthenes calculating the diameter of the earth around 200 B.C). Never-the-less, the fact remains that the argument is right. We have been wrong about things in the past. We’re still wrong about some things. We know that many of our theories are incomplete.

Given all of that, though, there is a better point to be made. Science is unique in the way that it is the only self-correcting field out there. All of those times science has been wrong about something, I can guarantee you, it was not the priest that fixed it, but another scientist.

Theology christianity, debate, evolution, Philosophy, Science