Two days ago, my sister and I attended an event that some of my musical colleagues consider heretical (in a kind sense, I think).  What was this event?  The Drums of Summer, in Broken Arrow, OK. It’s part of the Drum Corps International (or DCI) summer tour.  It’s a competition for drum and bugle corps comprised mostly of college students.  Put another way, it’s hardcore marching band.

It was amazing.

This was the first time I’ve ever seen a DCI World Class-level corp, and I was not disappointed. The music, sound, technique, and showmanship made this one of the most entertaining musical events I’ve ever attended.  Imagine a human kaleidoscope that creates it’s own music and is executed with pin point precision both visually and musically, and you will begin to approach the drum corp experience.  I’m already looking forward to the next time I can attend one of these events.

The trip down to Broken Arrow was pretty much without incident.  The roads were clear, and we made excellent time, Oklahoma’s insane way of showing road construction signs aside.  The trip back, however, proved much more trying.

It started with a trip to Goodyear in Broken Arrow, and three new tires on my car.  A few hours (and a few hundred dollars later), and we were finally ready to leave.  I wasn’t very familiar with the area, and followed the signs, only to discover I had entered a turnpike with no immediate exits, going south, when I was supposed to go north.  Getting off at the first available exit, I was over 50 miles away from where I was supposed to be.  This set the theme for the trip back.

There was an unbelievable amount of problems I encountered as I neared Warrensburg, MO, where I was going to drop off my sister.  The first route I chose took me out of cell phone range where I discovered the highway was completely closed.  I had no choice buck to back track several miles and head north.  This route nearly had the same thing happen, as the state highway ended abruptly.  Luckily, the road continued, however, and I was able to find a connection to another state highway.

Once we got into Warrensburg, I had visions of a quick trip through town.  It’s not very big, and I thought there would be no issues.  But it was not to be.  A fatal vehicle accident earlier in the day blocked off the road, forcing me to return to the high way and find another route.  Once I finally got back on track, a funeral procession pulled out in front of me, holding us up again.  After the funeral procession, we came to an intersection that had a traffic light that had been plowed over, stopping traffic again.  Finally, I routed us around all that, and made it to our destination.  Total added time: nearly three hours.  When I finally arrived back home to my apartment, I felt very relieved.

Some might say that this series of unfortunate events was retribution by Apollo for my musical heresy.  Since I like to play up the Odyssey-esque journey back home, this explanation is not without appeal.  Over-all though, it was a great trip, and I’m very happy I went.

My Underpowered Superpower was simple: I could tell the future, but in a very limited sense.  I could tell if someone would choose a circle, a square or a triangle ahead of time.  For three or four weeks, I told people about this super power and demonstrated it for them.  I’ve had a variety of responses.

First the data.  Out of 13 demonstrations, all were accepted as something silly.  Over all, they didn’t understand what was happening, and spent most of their time confused.  8 people demanded that I immediately do the trick again, which unfortunately was impossible.  I explained that my power is also limited in that it only works once in a given situation.  There were two people who weren’t fooled by it at all, and gave possibilities for how it was done (I admit nothing!).

Okay, I should modify that to say that only two people pointed out exactly how I did it immediately following my performance.  Upon reflection, it’s likely many others knew, but didn’t say anything for whatever reason.  For the rest: yes, my secret is out.  I don’t really possess any super powers.  It’s nothing more than a trick I developed while reading a biography of Harry Houdini.*  Reading the biography got me interested in magic again, and I started thinking about some possibilities for performing Mentalism tricks, and I came up with a really simple forcing mechanism that I wanted to try.  The underpowered superpowers thing seemed to be a perfect opportunity.

The problem is that I really need to work on my delivery.  I stumbled around a lot in the dialogue I had prepared ahead of time.  I thought I would try playing it by ear a little bit, but this did not turn out well.  It’s one thing that really added to the confusion, beyond normal levels.  So it’s back to the drawing board, and to help me out, I ordered a few books, and a separate trick that I’m looking forward to learning.

Overall, I think this particular experiment was a success.  I found out a little about myself, had fun, and confused people in the process.  I will have to do it again sometime.

*The Secret Life of Houdini: The Making of America’s First Superhero (Amazon) – I highly recommend this book!

I’ve been woefully delinquent in blogging over the last few months, mainly because I haven’t had much to say. But now I’m starting to get into the swing of things again, and I’m preparing a post of education research that should be up in the next few days.  The summer has been very mixed so far, but here are some highlights:

• Visited my friend Tara in San Antonio.  I stayed on the River Walk, and it was amazing.  I hope I get to go back sometime, probably in Winter!
• Rented a cabin on a small fishing lake in Eastern Kansas.  It was a nice way to get away for a while.  I spent the time rereading the Dresden Files, and finally read the latest book in the series.
• Had a tire blowout on the interstate.  Not fun, but I got through it, obviously.
• Getting back into the habit of going to the gym.  I hadn’t been in a few months, but now that I’m going again, I’m starting to feel much better.
• My twitter use has exploded from where it was.  I’m starting to see the use, not only as a publishing platform, but also as a resource for information.  search.twitter.com has been extremely helpful in the last few months.
• Bought a new Sony 40 inch LCD television.  It’s incredibly awesome.  Got rid of my old TV.  Thinking about building a PC to connect to the TV to serve as a media center, and do things like stream Netflix and Hulu without using my laptop.
• In case I decide to stay in KC, I’ve started considering building a house instead of buying.  It’s been the fun thing to think about for the last week or so.
• 7 weeks left until I graduate with my Masters degree.  So I’ve started looking at possible Ph.D. programs, grants, and fellowships.
• I’m teaching two sections in the fall, one of them an evening course.
• Will probably upgrade to a new MBP sometime in the fall.
• I’ve gotten into poetry, both reading and writing.  Reading “Leaves of Grass” has been interesting.
• Still thinking about getting a dog. If I do, I’m going to either name it “Darwin” or “Schroedinger” (or “Ding” for short).  If it’s a beagle, then I will definitely name it Darwin.

Well, that’s basically been my life for the last few months.  I wrapped up teaching, and all my students passed, something I’m very proud of.  Now I’m anxious to see the student evaluations of my teaching.  I have no idea when those will appear.

I’m starting to get back into the home science swing of things too.  Hopefully will have something to post about my experimentations involving mexican jumping beans and the moth-like creatures that hatch from them in the coming days.

At approximately 7:30 p.m. last night, I checked in on her as part of my daily routine. Well, and partly because I liked to visit her when I was feeling anxious.  I discovered her sitting on the bottom of the cage with her wings spread.  I wondered if she was attempting to lay an egg, and grew concerned because I know that parakeets especially are especially vulnerable to problems when this occurs.  I did not view this as a likely event, however, because she never laid an egg in the previous years.

I pulled her out of her cage and examined her for possible problems.  There was something definitely wrong, but there wasn’t anything I could do.  She grasped by fingers strongly, and I thought that was a good sign.  I made a nice nest for her using old t-shirts and a shoe box, and she settled in, not moving much.  Every once in a while she would move her head and readjust herself.  Then, at around 10:06, she attempted to fly one last time.  She couldn’t get airborne.  And then she was still, never to move on her own again.

I watched her chest carefully for any signs of breath, hoping to see any kind of movement, but it was not to be.  Intellectually I realized she had died, but there was a feeling of detachment from the situation, as though I was watching a movie instead of actually experiencing the death of my dear friend.  The feeling has yet to leave me.

A flurry of thoughts surged through my mind in the following minutes.  The first was the irrational need to cover the body.  Even though it felt like I was rejecting the reality of her death, I still covered the nest with another t-shirt.  The second was more practical in nature: I am going to need to purchase a shovel.  I did not like that thought, but it was stuck in my head and would not let lose.

It was late, and I was extremely tired.  Yet, it felt wrong to just go to sleep.  I didn’t want to do anything really.  I went outside and went for a walk, trying to clear my head.  Ironically, when I got back inside, the first thing I did was head to her cage to see her, like I had done so many times before.  It had always been comforting to have a bird that didn’t care about money, or girls, or social anxieties, or school, or anything.  She would always climb on my finger and say hello.  She liked to chew on my eyebrow, probably because of the salt from perspiration. Many times, if I was in another room working on something, or watching tv, she would fly out and land either beside me or on my shoulder.  Well, there was one period in my life when she really liked landing on my feet, goodness knows why.  I guess the white foot mittens drew her in.

This afternoon I buried her.  Her body now occupies some space beneath the frozen ground in a local park.  She’s beside a tree that I’d like to think she would find enjoyable.  I don’t know why that matters.  I know it doesn’t matter to her.  For all intents and purposes, she ceased to exist the moment her brain ceased functioning.  The only meaning her burial has is the meaning I assign to it.  I suppose in that sense, it’s important.  As I handled her body for the last time, I was amazed at how soft she felt.  She didn’t feel any different, except for the lack of life signs.   The whole experience was surreal, and continues to seem that way.  My sorrow has only begin to set in.

At 10:07 last night, Dimitri Shostakovich turned into an ex-parakeet.  She will be missed.

I met Tara over 6 years ago, and it’s been a great six years.  We went through a lot together: hospital stays, road trips, kite flying, and so much more.  She’s been a better friend than I could have imagined and certainly better than I deserved.  She influenced my life in so many ways.

Saying goodbye this morning was very difficult.  It hasn’t really settled in my mind that she’s not here any more, but’s that the way big changes always are for me.  The reality sets in slowly, giving time required time to adjust.   I’m also left with a sense of ‘what now?’ that adds to the unease and anxiety I’m feeling about the start of this semester and my social situation in general.

I have other good friends here in Kansas City, but for today, for the moment, it feels like a very lonely place to be.

photo credit: TheArtGuy

This post contains BREAKING NEWS.

I haven’t been blogging lately, or keeping up with all my blog subscriptions.  While my Google Reader is telling my I merely have 37 unread posts, this is at least partly due to the judicious use of “mark all as read” button.  But why is this so?  Well, I have my final two grad courses for this semester to finish up this week and the next, and I”m also putting the “finishing” touches on the CMS I’ve written for my School.  But yesterday something was offered to me, and today it was confirmed that has thrown a huge load of work on my shoulders.  I don’t mind one bit, however, because this is something I am *really* looking forward to.  What is it?

*I* am teaching a class here at the University next semester.  My *own* class!  It’s in the catalog.  Students are registering for classes.  I keep pinching myself.  This is *actually happening*.

So what class is it that has my heart thumping in equal parts fear and excitement?  TE385, also known as “Teaching and Learning with Technology.”  Basically I’m going to teach future teachers how to be more effective students and teachers (and people in general) by utilizing technology.

I have many ideas about what I want to cover in this class.  I’m not the only person teaching this course; there are other sections, so there is a basic set of things I need to cover, and then we can move beyond that.  I’ve started the process of creating the syllabus, and the collosal size of this task is starting to set in.  I have a lot of work to do in the next month if this class is going to be successful.

Five Things I was doing 10 years ago

1. Attending my sophomore year in high school
2. This time of the year was district band season, so I was making the district honor band and actually practicing my euphonium.
3. Joining the Cross Country team.
4. Preparing for my drivers license examination
5. Working on Driftwood (my one time pad encryption program written in QBasic – How embarrassing!)

5 Things on my “To do” list today

1. Setup a meeting to get some data automatically fed into my system (done)
2. Have dinner with my friend Tara
3. Purchase sandwich bags at the store
4. Check my ongoing Chlorophyll experiment to see where I’m at there.
5. Check out an episode or two of this seasons’ Big Bang Theory.

5 Snacks I love

1. Cheese and Crackers
2. Popsicles (the sugar free ones taste better)
3. No-bake cookies
4. Sunflower seeds
5. PB & J

5 Things I would do if I was a millionare

1. Build a house with crazy home automation (and all those other goodies like a home lab, recording studio, two stories library, hidden rooms / passageways, observatory etc.)
2. Get my souped up Mac Pro
3. Visit New Zealand
4. Quit work and get my doctorate.
5. Purchase a Dodge Viper

5 Places I’ve Lived

1. Osage City, KS
2. Bennett Springs, MO
3. Lebanon, MO
4. Kansas City, MO
5. Butler, MO

Hmm, that one makes me sad…

5 Jobs I’ve had

1. Insulation Installer – I put the fiberglass insulation into private homes.
2. Sheetrock Grunt – Yeah, carrying sheetrock from the lumberyard to the job site.  While it was on the truck, all was good.  Other than that… not so much.
3. Work Study at the SOE – From my first day on campus here at UMKC, I’ve working in the same department.
4. Web Developer – This was a shitty job and turned me off to ever developing for other people ever again.  I still do it anyway.
5. Audio / Visual Tech – My Current position.   My actual job isn’t any like the title.

People I’ll tag.  This means you have to do this same thing:

• Tara Craven
• Evolved Rational
• My Life as Fanfiction Writer
• Peaceful Atheist

The page contains a picture of me from my Junior year in high school, and two musical compositions that I was working on during that time period, both of which has been lost to time.  Variations was my major opus for the year, but it’s the other work “Song” that I was really interested in.  “Song” is the title of a John Donne poem.  As part of my Music Theory I class, I had set the first verse to music.  The file is a midi representation of the Finale Music file.

What’s interesting about this work is that I did not stop working on “Song.”  Over the next several months, I set the rest of the poem to music, transcribed it into a different notation program (Sibelius), and entered it into a composition contest being sponsored by SMSU.  To my astonishment, I was selected as a finalist, and had my composition performed by the SMSU choir.  There was some drama about this, as the letter that informed me of this had sat on a desk unnoticed for several weeks while I wondered when I was ever going to hear anything.  Luckily, it was discovered before the performance.

I walked into the performance nervously with my family.  In the hallways, I started to relax though, as I walked by actual choir members rehearsing my music.  This was actually happening!  It was a feeling I cannot forget.  I sat in the back and suffered through the first performance of the night.  It was some unaccompanied solo oboe piece that gave me a serious headache.  Then the choir marched out and began singing.  The experience was overwhelming.

The final piece was a work for wind ensemble.  As soon as they started playing, I began to doubt if I would win.  The piece was really great.  When they finished, the judges conferred.

A side note:  If you click on my Young Composers Entry, you’ll see that one of my favorite compoers at the time was David Holsinger.  Holsinger held demi-god status to me.  I bought his CD’s, jumped at opportunities to play his music.  I kept hoping he would come out with a Euphonium Solo I could perform.  As it turns out, Holsinger had been tapped by SMSU to judge this composition contest.  My composition was being performed for my contemporary musical hero.  Could this night have gotten any better?  Well, yeah, if I won.

The judges returned and announced their decision.  The Wind Ensemble piece won the prize.  I can’t remember what the prize was; it just wasn’t important to me.  The big thing was that the piece was being performed by actual people.  Nothing was said about 2nd or 3rd place.  The event was over, and it was time to go.  My band teacher had come for the performance, as well as my Music Theory teacher (who was also the choir teacher).  At the time, I had no idea what to feel, but they both shook my hand.  A number of people in the audience did, but I was still feeling a bit overwhelmed and numb.

Suddenly, I found myself in a bear hug, then being dragged off over to the side.  As I came to my senses, I looked to see who it was:  David Holsinger.  I blinked, not really understanding what was going on.  He had a thing or two to say to me.  He didn’t want me to feel bad about the outcome at all.  He felt the piece had been incredible and demonstrated a lot of talent.  There were a few things that I could do to improve the piece (check the range of the soprano part, for example).  I was nodding my head, thanking him, and wondering if I could ask for an autograph.  I never did ask for his autograph.

In the following months until I graduated High School, there was some talk about getting the music published, but I never looked into it seriously.  Perhaps I should have.  I started school in the fall at the UMKC Conservatory of Music, but I haven’t finished a serious composition since I wrote “Song” (later, I renamed it to reflect the first line of the poem – “Sweetest Love I do no Go”).  I’ve started several, but haven’t finished them.  Well, that’s ignoring were silly things like putting “Green Eggs and Ham” to music.  I’ve done a few arrangements, but nothing too serious.  Going to the conservatory really burned me out on music.  I finished my degree in it, but it got to the point where I couldn’t stand it for a while.

Never-the-less, that night is one of my proudest achievements.

I’ve had this dream for *years* – even now, when I’m not even attending school.  Every time, it freaks me out as well.  Sometimes the dream takes place in high school and others in college.  I’m not sure why I have this particular nightmare.  It’s true that while I was going to school, I was known on occasion to completely forget to go to class.  I took a political science class where I skipped an entire month because I didn’t need to go.  Well, and I was working through a horrible break-up with my girlfriend.  Still, that was over six years ago.

I could probably analyze this deeper.  Perhaps it has something to do with a fear of not being good enough, or failing to meet the requirements for something because I was goofing off.  Or something.  I don’t know.

I just hate these dreams.