Thoughts on God
A couple things have happened recently that have led me back to considering my thoughts on God. I reread a post of mine from several months ago, and while I still believe exactly what I’ve written, there are some other things that are still causing problems.
One such problem is that I’m very private about my beliefs, for two reasons. The first is that religion is one of those things that when you talk about it, you can always expect some sort of disagreement. While I can accept other people’s beliefs, I find overwhelmingly that they cannot accept mine. This has led me to be a more private person, which is the second reason. I value my privacy and my beliefs.
It is a paradox that while I value these things and desire to protect them, I really wish I could share them with others. People don’t understand them, however, and I find that immensly frustrating. I can pick up and understand what they are saying, but they do not desire to do this for me. There are a few that try, but in the end, have given up.
What’s the point, really?
The mainstream idea of God is full of so many problems I can’t even begin to list them. At the same time though, the mainstream is fully willing to be ignorant of those problems. I have no desire for that sort of ignorance, so I worked around those problems. The solution is elegant and beautiful, but it grinds people wrong.
Why is a thing so beautiful as this dismissed without a thought?
One possibility is that my idea of beauty is so skewed that others don’t recognize it the same as I. I cannot, do not accept this, however. There are several things that I find beautiful that others do as well.
So what’s the problem?
What do I have to do to accomplish the things that I need to accomplish?
I’m lost in a sea of confusion without a guide other than my own knowledge, wisdom and intuition. Will they be enough?
If not, where does that leave me?
It’s frustrating when people do not understand me. It’s even more frustrating when people have no desire to do so. I go out of my way to learn new things and be exposed to new ideas. God has made me who I am, but for what purpose?
My ideas are viewed as radical at the very least, insane at most. Why has God made me this way? What purpose does this serve? Am I to be the laughing stock of those around me? Am I relagated to the confines of comic relief?
I’m tired. I desire sleep, but I’m to restless to let it overtake me. I seek peace, but it escapes my grasp.
What am I to do?
